How the Hutches got Hitched, Part 2: The Ceremony

Mr. Hutch had popped the question, and now it was time to get down to the business of getting married. And that shit is a business. I wanted to avoid as much of it as possible.

Mr. Hutch would have liked to elope just the two of us, but it was important to me to celebrate with our friends and family in some way. I don't know how to describe the feeling exactly, but I felt like the declaration we were about make should be said out loud. To people other than ourselves. Like it had more gravity that way or something. And that it warranted acknowledgement from the wider world.

So we settled on having an intimate ceremony in our backyard before just our immediate family (parents, siblings and their spouses and children). That was 18 people total. It was on a beautiful Sunday morning, Mother's Day in fact.  The only cost to getting married in our backyard was the champagne and orange juice that we toasted with.

We then headed to a local brewpub, where we hosted brunch for 50 people. After brunch, everyone was invited to move to another brewpub (is there a theme here?) for a no-host afterparty. Then Mr. Hutch and I sailed off into the sunset or something.

The entire event came in just under the budget of $5000. Which is still a lot of money. There are ways to do it for a lot less, but I feel like we struck a good balance of saving where it counted while still hosting our friends and family. So where did we save?

I think it starts with the ring. I still don't understand the whole engagement ring/wedding ring thing. Who needs two rings stacked on top of one another? I just gave Mr. Hutch the engagement ring before the ceremony and he put it back on me. One is enough. Mr. Hutch doesn't even wear a ring, so no cost there.

Next was the dress. I started looking for simply a white dress, not a wedding dress per se. It was Sunday brunch after all. In the end I actually surprised myself by buying a designer wedding dress, but it was off the clearance rack because it was a buttery yellow color rather than the standard white. And marked down from $760 to $350. Again, still a lot of money, but I have since sold it for $200 so I think it was a pretty good deal. I loved it, and felt beautiful in it.

Our biggest cost was all the food and booze at our brunch. It was important to me that we provide everything for our guests and I'm so happy we did. It was amazing. I think that hosting a brunch rather than an evening event really helped keep the cost down. I think people ate and drank less than they would have at an evening wedding, but were just as satisfied. I believe the final tally came in around $50 per person for unlimited food and drinks.

Limiting our number of guests was by far the biggest thing that we could have done to keep on budget. This is not easy to do, and is a very personal choice. I had a few bouts of guilt over excluding people, but I felt strongly that it was what we had to do. I also had the overwhelming sense of wanting to be surrounded by people that we were very close to and that we knew supported our marriage. I did not want to look around the room and feel indifferent about any face that I saw. In that sense, limiting our guests was incredibly freeing. We did not invite our single friends and family to bring a +1, and we asked that no children (other than infants who couldn't be away from their mamas) attend. This won't work for everyone, but it did for us.

We also really did away with almost all of the little extras that go into a wedding. We had no attendants (our mothers signed the registry as our witnesses - it was Mother's Day after all) so there were no costs associated with that, though I did pay for my mom and my sister-in-law to have their hair done with me. We didn't have any flowers or other decoration for the reception since the site itself is so beautiful anyway. It was a nice surprise though, to walk into the reception and see that the brewpub had put some flowers on each table. I wasn't expecting that. We made jam with raspberries from our garden for our guests to take home as favours. A very talented friend made our invitations as our wedding gift, which was awesome. They were simply postcards - no envelope, no extra anything enclosed. We directed people to our free wedding website for all the details and to RSVP. I did carry a bouquet but purchased the flowers wholesale and just wrapped them in some ribbon that I already had. As an aside, I tied my dad's wedding ring on there to carry him with me that day too.

I really tried not to buy too much into the business of getting married. Sure, I had a ring, flowers, a new dress, a party and all kinds of other things that were really not necessary to get married, but I feel we struck a decent balance by not having too much else. I'm just thankful that I got married before Pinterest.

How the Hutches got Hitched, Part 1: The Engagement

I believe my frugal streak is innate. It’s always there, even when it comes to getting married.  I laugh at how it was even there when I feel like the story really starts, 8 months before Mr. Hutch actually popped the question.

It was New Year’s eve, 2008. I had the most cheap-tastic date night planned for Mr. Hutch and I. We took the bus (free that night!) to a lovely Irish pub in one of Victoria’s most beautiful heritage buildings downtown. I usually think of this place as a bit of a tourist trap (by virtue of its location, and its overpriced drinks) but the Mr. and I were flush with gift cards that I had earned on travel points. We headed there early in the evening and had a wonderful meal and a few drinks, and left before the beginning of their “New Years Eve” party started (I think around 10pm), thereby saving ourselves the $25 cover charge. I seriously still pride myself on this lovely date that cost zero dollars.

We rang in the new year quietly at home, just the two of us. At midnight, I asked Mr. Hutch what he hoped for in the upcoming year. I was utterly shocked when he answered, “I’m going to marry you in 2009”. Yes, we may have already bought our house together, and marriage was probably a foregone conclusion, but still, I was speechless and incredibly touched.

This is where, to my own surprise, I turned into a raging girl. I am not one for jewellery, and before this point would have said I had no interest in a diamond ring. That all changed. Suddenly, I was on the hunt for an engagement ring. Mr. Hutch and I looked around, and I pointed out a few that I liked and left it to my Mr.-to-be to make the final pick. 

In August, Mr. Hutch and I took our summer vacation on one of the incredibly idyllic local islands. We rode our bikes to the beach one night with a bottle of champagne to watch the sunset. I was pretty sure what was coming. But what I didn’t see coming was the sweetest way I think a man could ask a woman to be his wife (sniff). I’m obviously biased now because of its special place in my heart, but man, Savary Island is incredible.

Mr. Hutch had chosen an exceptionally beautiful, if not unique, art-deco style dinner ring. I say that because I noticed later that the same ring was selling at a different jewellery store than from where he had purchased it. For a lower price. So I went in there and asked for them to price match, which they did, to the tune of a couple hundred bucks if I recall.

So there you have it. I may have been about to become a blushing bride, but still I had no shame.

Mrs. Hutch's Sweet New Cell Phone Plan

I've had something in the neighborhood of 4 or 5 cell phone numbers in the last 7 years. I was a holdout for a long time, and was one of the last people I know to actually get a cell phone. I thought not having once gave me some kind of street cred. Eventually, it just made me an outcast. Have you ever realized that no one meets at a a pre-arranged time and place anymore?

My last phone was a blackberry for work. I ditched my own phone just paid for any personal calls I made over and above the monthly corporate plan, which was never much. That worked just fine for me, and was incredibly cheap. But when I went on my maternity leave in 2010, I threw that phone out my driver's side window at the office as I sped away from the building. Figuratively speaking. I took the bus back then.

I honestly didn't want to get a phone of my own while I was on maternity leave. But Mr. Hutch, ever the pragmatist, insisted. Something about going into premature labour with the twins. I relented.

Me: "Hi, I need a phone. I really like those flip-phones."

Phone Guy: "Uh, they don't make flip-phones anymore."

I got the closest thing to a flip-phone that I could, and told Phone Guy to sign me up for the most basic plan he had. No fancy stuff, thank you. I got a one year contract for $20/month, but ended up adding a texting plan for another $15. With taxes and fees it came in at around $40-$45 a month, not really an amount that I enjoyed paying.

Fast forward sixteen months and I was back at work with a new blackberry and yet another new number. As tempting as it was to ditch my own phone and go back to just paying for personal calls on my work phone, I just didn't want to inform every one of my contacts of yet another change in number. So I kept paying more than was necessary to keep my own phone. But a couple of months ago, while surfing through the internal employee website, I came the awesome corporate reates for  personal cell phones offered through my employer.

Here's what I got:

I went with the most basic plan of $13.50 per month. This gives me free evenings and weekends, free local calls any time to any phone on the same carrier (which includes Mr. Hutch), free unlimited incoming text messages and 1500 outgoing text messages (which for me, might as well be unlimted). I get no weekday minutes, but that suits me just fine as I'm usually sitting right beside my landline at work during that time anyway. Any calls I do make during the weekdays are only 4 cents per minute, so the very few daytime call that I do make do not add up to much. I also got the $35 activation fee waived, and a $50 credit to my bill (that's like three months free!). PLUS, because I was already a client of this carrier and not tied into a contract (I was just going month to month following the expiration of my one-year contract) I was eligible for a free super-fancy Samsung smartphone. Granted, it has no data plan, but at least I look cool in front of my friends. Just kidding! I have no friends.

Not only that, but I use it to record my mustachian meal plans in the calendar. Next stop: financial independence!

Do I Wish I Had Done Things Differently?

Mr. Hutch and I are walking a pretty fine financial line these days, due to financing the building of our rental suite with the equity in our home. I found myself thinking the other day about my financial past and what I might have done differently had I known then what I know now.

I know. Like grey hair and back pain, this is sure sign that I am old.

When I was 23 and in my final year of university, my father died suddenly. My brother and I inherited a significant amount of money. This had a huge effect on my life for the next few years, and the consequences of the decisions I made then are still with me today.

The first thing I did with the money was probably smart: I paid off my student loan. With one cheque, my $12,000 debt was gone. It was my first and only payment on the loan. The enormity of this did not escape me at the time. I felt very fortunate on the one hand to be able to do this, and yet that it was at the expense of having my father meant it was bittersweet.

I had a bit of bad luck when I graduated university. I was all set to start working for one of my favorite professors in his lab. Just before I began though the job fell through, and along with it my reason to move into the apartment I had just rented downtown. On the upside, I suddenly found myself with no commitments and lots of cash in the bank. An enviable position to be in.

This is where I wonder if I could have made some better choices. I moved back home to mom, and basically had the kind of summer you have before you start your first job (which for me was 10 years earlier). I had a couple of other friends who were recent university graduates and in the same boat as me. We dubbed ourselves "team unemployed", and we made the most of that summer. We camped, we swam, we stayed at one guy's parent's summer home in the Gulf Islands. We drank beer and sat in the sun and watched seals swim in the harbour below. It was pretty great, and I still think of that summer fondly. One smart financial move I made at that time was to invest with a developer friend and build a spec house with my brother. We sold that house for a profit of around $20,000, without really lifting a finger. Not doing that several more times is one regret I have. I did look for work in my chosen field of wildlife biology all that summer though. Jobs were notoriously hard to come by in my field at that time, especially ones that paid more than a pittance. I was apparently "this close" to landing what sounded like an amazing job with a well-respected research institute in Ontario. Had I been chosen for that job and had I picked up and moved across the country that summer, I wonder how different my life would be now? Would I have met Mr. Hutch, had the Hutchlings? Would I have found my way back to the west coast, where my heart is? I'll never know the answers to these questions of course, but I have to imagine I wouldn't be where I am now.

After that summer turned to fall and still no biology job was forthcoming, I took a few internships in the hopes of beefing up my resume and eventually landing a paying job in my field. My inheritance subsidized a trip to New Zealand to study bottlenose dolphins that fall and winter (with a side trip to Fiji tagged onto the end of the internship) and a stint around home banding hummingbirds in the spring. Later that year I took off to Africa, Australia and Indonesia to travel for a while. When I returned, I took a position banding migratory songbirds in Oregon. All of these were incredible experiences, and I don't regret any of them. Had I not inherited that money, I wouldn't have been in the position to take these no- or low-paying, yet incredible jobs or take the trip that was purely for pleasure.

In fact, it was that final job in Oregon that sort of set me on the path that led me back to Victoria, and to my life today. I loved fieldwork, and intended to keep trying to make a go of becoming a professional biologist. Until one day when a realization came to me, crystal clear. I can picture now in my mind exactly where I was (walking along a trail beside a stream towards one of my mist nets), what I was wearing (pink tanktop, cargos, binoculars) and how the sun was shining directly overhead. And suddenly I just knew, without a doubt: this wasn't the life for me. It had a lot to do with my boss that summer, who lived and breathed ornithology and didn't care if he ever did anything else. He was willing to live in his car or couchsurf, going from short-term seasonal contract to short-term seasonal contract. And meeting him, I just knew that I didn't have that in me. I wanted a relationship someday, and to put down roots somewhere. I really just wanted to sleep in a bed that belonged to me, something I hadn't done at that point for a long time. I decided then and there that I would move back to Victoria at the end of that summer and try a new track.

I took a bit of a winding path once I was back in Victoria, but eventually it led to the decent-enough paying government job I have today. I put the final chunk of my inheritance down on a house with my brother and sister-in-law. That proved to be a pretty fateful decision as it was because of that house that I met the then-single tradesman named Mr. Hutch. I even made a tidy profit when they bought me out so that Mr. Hutch and I could buy the house we live in today.

So really, there not much point in wishing I had done things differently. Sure, I could have invested the money smarter or begun building my real estate empire. But oh did I have fun. I saw a good chunk of the world, grew up a bit. I still don't really know what I want to do with my life, but I'm happy with where I am and what I have. I think my father would be pleased to see what he afforded me.

Mrs. Hutch’s Home Economics: Using IUDs as Birth Control For Fun and Profit

A few years ago, for personal reasons, I decided to switch up my method of birth control. I had been on the same pill since I was sixteen years old and needed a change. Mr. Hutch and I were in a committed, monogamous relationship and we didn’t intend on starting our family for a few more years. After weighing my options I decided to take an IUD out for a spin.

Now, an IUD is a pretty big commitment. Saying I took one “out for a spin” is pretty flippant. It’s not something that you can easily get rid of if you decide that it isn’t for you. Ideally, you want to keep that sucker in there for at least 5 years, maybe even 7. So I talked to my doctor and did a fair bit of reading before deciding to go ahead. My doctor didn’t “do” IUD insertions, so I had to have that bit done at my local sexual health clinic (for all you old-timers, we used to call it Planned Parenthood). Being the sexual-health police that they are, the clinic imposed a mandatory “counselling” session. It was kind of annoying but I just told them my deal and really, it was fine.

There are two kinds of IUDs: ones made of copper that release no hormones and ones made of plastic that release the same hormone(s) as in birth control pills, but at a much smaller dose. I chose the hormone-releasing type and that, my friends, is where the “for fun and profit” part began. I don’t remember my reasons for choosing the hormone-releasing IUD. I’d imagine it may have seemed more bullet-proof as the hormones inhibit ovulation while the copper IUDs do not. I admit this is an entirely invalid point on which to base one’s decision because both types are equally effective at preventing pregnancy. Whatever the reasons, my decision to go with the hormone-releasing IUD was about to unleash a whole lot of unintended awesome on my life.

The happiest side effect of the hormonal IUD (aside from not getting pregnant) is that I have NEVER had a period while using it. Granted, I had the thing removed after about two years when Mr. Hutch and I decided to start trying for Hutchlings - a bit sooner than we originally planned - so I had a couple of periods before getting pregnant. But as soon as I got the all-clear from my doctor following their birth I had a new one rigged up. Again, I haven’t had a period since. Two periods in the last four years. Life changing.

Ladies, consider for a moment how different life would be if you never got your period. No mood swings, no bloat, no cramps, no headaches, no blood leaking out of your vagina for the better part of a week that needs to be continually mopped up! I’m telling you: AWESOME. Every day is just as carefree as the last, and I’m as emotionally balanced as one could expect a mother of 18 month-old twins to be. This must be what being a man feels like (in a good way). I’m not kidding, this is what I call fun. I’m guessing Mr. Hutch would agree.

Now for the profit:  IUDs run around $300 but like I said, they are intended to last for a minimum of 5 years. My extended health plan covers all forms of birth control so the upfront cost, while significant, doesn’t factor for me. $300 over five years works out to only five bucks a month, less than any birth control pills I know of. Stretch your IUD for 7 years, which my doctor says is perfectly fine to do, and you’ve saved even more. Now add in the fact that you are no longer buying tampons, pads, diva cups or any other method of clean-up. No more Advil or Tylenol for cramps. Your drugstore budget just went through the floor!

Disclaimer: Obviously, I’m a fan but I’m no doctor. Don’t take my advice when choosing your method of birth control. Explore your options with a qualified medical professional.

Mrs. Hutch’s Home Economics: Breastfeeding for $9.38 per month*

Just this morning, I found myself in an interesting position.  It’s one that I don’t have a lot of experience with, but that has certainly been more frequent since I had children: being on the receiving end of judgement.

This particular judgement was of the fact that I still breastfeed the Hutchlings at 18 months old.  It’s generally only once a day, after their bath in the evening, unless they are sick or on an airplane or in some equally traumatizing place. N, in particular, is a boob-monster. I’m pretty sure he would like nothing better than to sleep all night, every night, while nursing.  We never did the family-bed thing, mostly for the logistical factors that come with twins, so it’s not like he ever had the opportunity.

Curiously, I have found that this particular judgment has only ever come from people who are a generation older than me. It has even come from within my own family. The person who said this to me today did so, I believe, with the best of intentions. She is of the mind that weaning the Hutchlings will make them more independent. I agree that independence can and should be encouraged at this age, but I’m not convinced that denying them the breast will accomplish it.

We all know that breastfeeding saves money over formula feeding. When the Hutchlings first came home from the NICU, my nurse and lactation consultant told my husband that at the end of their first year, he was to take me on a week-long holiday to a very expensive resort on the coast. She claimed I would have saved us about $6000 by breastfeeding twins that long. I have no idea if that figure is accurate. I will say though that I ate so much more in those early days when I was a milk-machine that I may have eroded a good portion of those savings with a higher grocery bill.  Who knows?

We also all know that many women who formula feed don’t do so by choice. I want to be clear that I was very lucky in that I had professional help in the form of a lactation consultant, and with that help I was able to produce enough milk for both the Hutchlings, and then some. Learning to breastfeed two premature infants was not easy though. Many people in those early days expressed surprise that I was doing it. I’m not sure if it was because I was physiologically able to, or that I was choosing to. I guess I could have given up but honestly, the thought never crossed my mind. In some ways it may have been easier, but in many ways it wouldn’t have. The thought of washing all those bottles alone would have made it out of the question for me.

So, in answer to the comment from this morning: I’m not going to stop breastfeeding. I can’t see any good reason to. Heck, if it replaced one cup of cow’s milk, I saved $0.31 today.

*Where we live, 4 litres of cow’s milk is $5. 250ml per day is $0.3125, or $9.375 per month.

What does Mrs. Hutch do for cash?

What don’t I do for cash? I think I’ll explain that statement in a future post. For now, I work for our provincial government in a job that is “good enough”. It allows me a good degree of flexibility and autonomy (worth a lot, in my book), and decent enough pay for what I do. It generally isn’t taxing, physically or mentally. Though not my dream job in any sense, I feel it’s an okay choice for now and offers some stability while Mr. Hutch pursues his self-employment dream.  I don’t see myself in this job forever, and I’m even beginning to think I may not spend the balance of my career in government. That’s new.

Lately, I’ve been secretly wondering if there will be a place for me beside Mr. Hutch one day, helping him to run his empire.